Turner Motorsports (Team Full)

[quote="RR Xman77"]Just hire Lindsey like WhiteTire did[


if u like ill bring lindsey to shakedown, and she can shake it 4 the team

AP Mooresville, NC - Earlier today, there was a break-in at the Speed2 Racing Group race shop. Video footage allowed the authorities to aprehend the burgler a few miles away. Looks like Lindsey Lohan has moved up from jewelry, but the #77 BMW M3 was a little much for her.



She was picked up in front of the NASCAR Technical Institute, apparently searching for a place to get the car pawned. She declined to answer many questions, just kept repeating the same name over and over again. Dylema, Dylema, Dylema.



Team Principal XMan has insisted that an investigation internally will be made. As a result, Dylema will now be required to take a daily drug test if this is the kind of woman that he finds as enjoyable company.

AP - Seattle, WA---

Dylema has issued a statement through his PR rep that he has been in Italy for the past few days preparing for the first practice run of the season. Before that he was at home in Seattle and never had any association with Ms. Lohan, as he thought she was dead of an OD or something years ago and was shocked that the former childhood actress was actually still alive. This is clearly an attempt by one of the other drivers to take over his stint. To further his point this quote from The Badger was made available, "if u like ill bring lindsey to shakedown, and she can shake it 4 the team." I believe the evidence speaks for itself.

AP - Florance, Italy ---

After reports of him bringing Lindsey Lohan to the factory which reportedly led to her stealing a car while screaming the name Dylema. The driver has looked over his contract with Turner Motorsports to see about early termination, however the early release clause appears to refer to the sacrifice of one's first born son. As he does not have a son it appears that he is set to stay put in what is quickly becoming not only a motorsports team but also a smash hit among celebrity gossip websites such as TMZ. In response to the recent media circus Dylema had this to say, "From what I've heard Xman isn't the fasted guy around the track, but he sure knows how to get publicity for his team. However next time please make up stories about other drivers having affairs with dirty disease ridden starlets." If Turner doesn't get a win this season they will still be the most talked about team in the paddock and in the stands, also unfortunately on TMZ.

i plead the 5th

We are some wild and crazy guys huh! Hahahaha. I bet half the field is laughing right now!

Pleading for a fifth will indicate additional evidence that the Lohan debacle was a WhiteWire production. But OctoberDusk says, "maybe we can sweet talk Xman into bringing both the fifth and Lohan (in handcuffs) to the post Mugello shakedown, it may be a good way to unwind. Handcuffs or not, we could use some Turner grid girls.

still pleading 5th,

mmmm pabst blue ribbon, is good stuff on a sunday moring

OctoberDusk06 wrote:FROM S2M NEWSWIRE (Raleigh, NC)---

"Who are these Turner guys, and are they dangerous for the series?"

Many are bewildered by the motley crue that Xman assembled to race in the Maverick-led Nein Shiza Enduance Series (edit: unnecessary because Germans would probably not recognize an obscene reference, or, if they did, thought it meant "shit, no?" or "have no shit?" instead of Kein Sheisse or Sheiss Nicht)

....really?....is this where you wanna be when jesus comes back picking on poor ole lil NEIN SHIZA???
SPEED2...you have been tried, you have been judged, and you have been found wanting....
WE ARE NEIN SHIZA!!!!!
YOU ARE A T#$T

As you can see, Blazin and myself have no problem with the Turner girls. I am the tall one obviously, and I will take the taller girl, as well. Guns has a weak ego and anyone taller than him just makes it worse.

Pabst.....damn! After last night I am drinking bloody marys....

What did happen last night?

I just found this on the table..


Then I saw this by the bed in the motorcoach...


BUT THE WORST! This walked out of the back!


PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE Dont let me remember last night!

just found some new pics on the floor too...



OMG!

ROSCOEpCOTRAIN, dnt u have a road to go sit on and wait 4 them dam duke boys?


rember not to drive in to the river again...

HE CANT..... SHHHHH... LOOK IN THE BACK OF THE SHOP...


Last I saw of him, he was still looking for it....


Lindsay brought it to us. We are not going to press charges (something about some pics last night)....instead we are going to hire her on as a Junior PR Rep.....She has earned her spot with this first delivery...

ROSCOEpCOTRAIN looks lost hahaha

roger that... but thanks to you i have FOUND THE LIGHT!!!!

you know this is some funny stuff Roscoe!

u know we have your dog to ROSCOEpCOTRAIN...

u want him back it will cost u...

As you can see, Blazin and myself have no problem with the Turner girls. I am the tall one obviously, and I will take the taller girl, as well. Guns has a weak ego and anyone taller than him just makes it worse.

In your hurry to grow, I don't think your brain developed properly...

Your a necrophile? flash died two years ago....somepeople jeesh....

TEAM LEADER RR XMan77

RR XMan77 has had am interesting journey into the road racing forum. The biggest challenge has been learning how these machines brake and how to turn right. As a longtime circle track driver, he has found success in each level that he had competed in to date. Two karting championships locally, 4-cylinder bomber champion as a teen, three runner-up points battles in Late Model competition and a few starts in Legends before focusing on the business side of racing.

As an owner, he has developed 2 young drivers in local short track racing into multiple wins in 2012. That same year, he, with a few unnamed investors, started a new road racing team, now known as Speed2 Racing Group. In the Forza Continental Tire Challenge Series, he drove the US Army Mazda RX8 to the Street Tuner Championship, as well as being one part of the Rolex GT Series Team Champions. This season the team has expanded the race shop into a multiclass machine where cars are built and tuned for different series. The driver lineup is growing, as XMan has signed multiple young drivers to developemental contracts.

In the Nein Shiza Endurance Series, XMan77 has signed on Dylema, back after a small sabatical, OctoberDusk, a Road Atlanta ace, and WhiteTire22, a Wisconsin product to run the #77 BMW M3 GT for Speed2 Racing Group. The racecar will don the Turner Motorsport paint and will receive backing from the CT based operation.

WhiteTire22

WhiteTire, 32, came form a backround in motocross, racing quads. Being from Wisconsin, his obvious hobbies are drinking Old Milwaukee and Pabst. He has had issues in the past with drug tests and after Lindsay was done with him, he has moved on to trying to make passes on the Turner Girls instead of on the track. As an avid racer, he found his way to Realistic Racing and was quickly picked up by Speed2 Racing Group with their standard iron-clad contract.

As a developmental Driver for Speed2, he is running currently in the Forza CTCS and the Nein Shiza Endurance Series with the team. his goals are to get faster each week and help bring the #77 BMW to the podium. LeMans is WhiteTire's go to track and should expect him to make some noise in any car at that track.

OCTOBERdusk

Growing up, October's family ran the Road Atlanta facility. As a result, that is his track to be the man on. Generally, he is to found chasing around XMan and Forst in Forza CTCS Testing, he has become quite quick at picking up the Speed2 Racing Group mentallity. Life is short, Have fun! Unlike his teammate, he can easilly pass a pre-race drugtest and has never been found to be drinking alcohol from the water bottle. he does however have a weakness, in the blonde front desk girl. She can be found much of the time behind him or under a car, rather than watching the phones.

This season will be all about learning. As a shunned F1 driver, he returned to America, where REAL racers turn left and right. He can be found in an F1 car with XMan in the near future again, as he is talking him into building a few. "Lets go whip those damn Europeans ass."

Dylema

BIO TO COME SOON - When he wakes up from his nap. Too much work..... BTW, where is that Turner girl?

Are you soooo sure that they dont have Flash......

Where is Dylema?

Being scheduled to drive the third stint Dylema was not seen around the paddock until 15 minutes before the race, he was only finally found when a mechanic went to find some replacement break pads in the hauler, where he found Dylema sleeping. This also solved the problem of the two missing Turner grid girls as well. When asked for comment on the situation Dylema replied, "My idol has always been Kimi, you know he does things his way and so do I. If the team boss comes on the radio telling me to do something I'll just tell him to be quiet because I know what I'm doing."

And the car goes BOOM

"All I needed was a car, I was going to catch and pass that other Turner car but then BOOM!!! Mechanical failure and my stint is over" Some may say that the internet disconnect is his fault but he blames the teams mechanics and the new part time PR member Lindsey Lohan. "If she wasn't sneaking drugs to the crew maybe we'd have a car that could complete a stint."